Jean Seizure

hi.

Good day.

I had a good day today. I spoke to a stranger over the phone for two hours in the morning and it was enlightening.  It's amazing how sometimes we connect much better with strangers because they can be much more insightful than people we're already familiar with. Yes. I guess we do take familiarity for granted. We stop discovering, we stop observing, we stop listening. We stop looking beyond the surface, seeing the best. We jump to conclusions. I'm guilty of these things too. That is the burden (homework?) that we bear for the sake of a connection that actually lasts. After all, a stranger remains disconnected from the toll of your flaws. A lasting connection is a tree that needs watering; re-looking, re-listening, re-discovering, and the constant humbling of yourself over and over. It takes practice and a whole ton of patience that- may run out at times. 

We spoke about pain and the message that it sends to me when I experience it. And I broke it down into two parts. Pain has two faces to me. One is the kind that you experience when you get burnt by fire. The other is the kind that you experience when you inconvenience yourself. Pain almost always leads to growth. Of course, I'm not referring to the kind of pain that we cannot cure so let's just make an exception for those.

Sometimes, the two kinds of pain go hand in hand. You get burnt, but how you react to it is entirely up to you. When someone hurts you and you choose inconvenience - forgiveness - in spite of the pain, you learn what it really means to love someone unconditionally. That in itself is a beautiful thing regardless of whether the other person is actually aware of it or not. It is tough to choose inconvenience; because sometimes we think we do so at the expense of ourselves. It's easy to see our own inconveniences bigger than it actually is. But we're not shortchanged when we choose to be more. Truth is, one who is able to choose to give willingly is one who already possesses more. 

I guess that's all that really matters; Finding peace with yourself for being extravagant with the love that you have, being at peace with the choices that you've made. It must be a living hell to not be at peace with yourself. And it does hurt a bunch when people don't see your heart. But you do, the pain that befriends you does, and the right people will, too.